Top Ten Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO
10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.![](images/space.gif)
9. Directions to your doctor's office include,
"Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
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8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgsicles.
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7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
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6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."
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5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
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4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
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3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
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2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "M"s on them.
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And the Number One Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO...
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1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.
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