and the news
so long expected
stunned.
A slap of icey water
and a sinking.
I carried it around
inside me through
the day, and slept
with it at night.
Bill's death,
a cold dark stone,
stangely smooth
and heavy within me.
With Thursday came
his face, from out of
nowhere, the sudden
widening of his eyes
before he'd laugh,
head-cocked.
Over and over,
unbeckoned, I saw him.
A vision, bitter-
sweet and fleeting.
Unholdable.
Today it rained
steadily and hard,
the gray sky pouring
down unending streams.
I wondered where I'd find
him now, or if I could.
I saw upon a broken window-
ledge a small brown bird,
rounded in the rain,
still for one long moment
then, tilting his head
to the weeping sky,
he lifted and was gone.
There, then
suddenly gone.
-- Deb Cooper